Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Rise of Vick, guys named Shonn and other lessons of 2010

I have watched a slew of my playoff teams get whittled down to one lonely squad still battling for a championship. Why still battling on this fine Tuesday? Like many of you, I am still dangling in limbo thanks to Mother Nature… and Mike "My publicist thinks I'm ready to own a dog again" Vick.

You are either one of the lucky, albeit morally bankrupt few who added Vick to your team… or more likely you are on my side of that equation: Trembling at the prospect of yet another 60-point explosion that will single-handedly wipe out your chances of hoisting the glory… and cashing a check large enough to pay one month's worth of pre-school for your children.
As of today, I am clinging to a pathetic and decidedly unlucky 13-point lead with no starters left on my roster. I know, I know -- Vick poops 13 points before the first quarter is over, which is why I am hoping for more of that merciless force majeur weather to strike in Philly. As King Lear so aptly put it, "Blow winds, crack your cheeks, and knock him out of the game with a strained groin courtesy of slippery turf and all that dead dog karma." Hey, a guy can dream, can't he? (Cue all the erudite "Dogs isn't human!" comments and emails now.)
Relax and huff another gallon of paint, Vick Nation. Yes, he paid his price, yes he is now in line for another nine-figure contract, and yes, my fate is sealed. If you can sleep with him on your roster, the day is decidedly yours. As I twist in the wind, I can't help looking back over another frenetic ride on the wild stallion that is fantasy football. All the excitement of draft prep, the grind of weekly roster management, and crossing the finish line inevitably leads to a time of evaluation. Some of you may roll like the 'Niners and fire yourselves before the plane home from your last loss even hits the ground. Others may prefer a painstaking soup-to-nuts look at every facet of your organization.
Me? I am already mulling over some of the things the 2010 season schooled me on to a fair-thee-well.

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